It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
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A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
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and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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