I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
