if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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