so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
