I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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