clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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