lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
