She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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