drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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