You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Randomize
