I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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