I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
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It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.