He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE