so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
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According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
foreskin is a definite game changer
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
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His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.