she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The beer is more important than you right now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???