At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.