How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.