That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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