You can't special order awesome
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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