what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
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Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
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Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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