Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
