I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
