Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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