you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
