oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize