did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize