discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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