how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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