Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I am one with the molecules
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
COCAINE IS GR8
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
