The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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