Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize