I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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