Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She's the barista slut.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
