This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
