I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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