Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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