Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
