real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.