I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
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Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
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Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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