i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it glows. i had to have it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
