laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize