Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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