i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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