Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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