I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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