i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
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And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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