In the future we'll all be gay
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize