Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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