moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Randomize
