He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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