um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
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