On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
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After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
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You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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