hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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