I want to stick my p in your. b.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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