they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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