super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
