oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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