dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
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We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
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Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".