**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...