I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
