Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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